Daycare=College Tuition for Babies

When you become a parent and you want to work you have to either balance schedules with your significant other or find a daycare. 

Of course all the first time moms don’t want to put their child in daycare or will say "I will never put my kid in daycare."

Or "only family is watching my child"

Well, newsflash, not everyone else has time to watch your child. Other people work as well and if you ever want to have sex or sleep in the same bed as your significant other you will work the same schedule and find a day care. If you’re fortunate enough to be able to stay home then good for you. However, us moms who have to put their children in daycare to continue their career or go to school shouldn’t feel guilty. We don’t want to be away from our kids all day. We don’t want to pay a fortune either for someone else to educate our kids. Realistically we want to be the main influence in our kids lives, however we can’t because, ‘Merica. 

Step one, finding a daycare that fits your needs. Opening and closing. Most open about 630am and close at 6pm. So if you're a single mom, you cannot work before 7:00am and you cannot work past 530 pm. Also you have to find a job that's Monday through Friday because most Daycares aren't open on Saturdays and Sundays. Simple enough right? Now, pricing. If you want a good daycare you're going to be paying about $200 a week per kid. That's $800 a month. That's a fucking mortgage payment, a car payment, college tuition, and about anything else. So you have to afford that and your house, your car, food, etc. And that's if your kid even makes it in daycare and you only have one kid. I have four. Thankfully most states have child care assistance programs and based off your income, housing size, blood type, and everything else they ask for to verify in order for you to get assistance you will receive some help. However, if your income changes in the slightest you have to report it. If you don’t they cut you off. Then you have to set up all over again. Most of the time you can’t take your kids to daycare while you’re verifying all of your information meaning you can’t work. If you’re job isn’t understanding then well, you won’t have a job. Without a job you don’t need daycare so then you’re back to square one. Not to mention if you have to go for assistance you are made to feel like a drain on society, but you’re trying to contribute to society by working. Daycare is so fuckin expensive so you have to get assistance to afford it! It’s a vicious cycle. 

Step two: Sometimes you have an interview process to make sure you and your children are worthy enough to enter Kiddie College. Well, let me tell you how my interview went. I had all my children with me. I guess they want to see what they are getting themselves into. I barely get in the door and before we even walked in the door I immediately go into Mom voice “please be good or you will be grounded forever”. So, I sit down with the fancy suited woman. This daycare looks like I would have fun in it all day. She offers my children toys to play with. They play, for a brief moment then start fighting. I give them "that look" and calm them although I'm raging on the inside. I of course have to look like I have my kids under control so they will watch them so I can work. They all start screaming. I want to scream. I separate them. She moves on with the interview process. Asking about my kids eating habits, sleep schedule, potty training, etc. I answer. Then about half way through the process my oldest son says that my daughter just peed on the floor. I am humiliated. She soaked a whole rug. Like the expensive area rugs that you get for $50 a square foot. Then my baby gets hungry. I breast feed. I try to cover myself, but my son is distracted so mid let down he lets go and my breast milk goes flying and nails this lady on her shirt. I'm humiliated. I just simply get up, start dragging my kids out the front door, and then settle for something less fancy without an interview because fuck that. So I get my kids into a daycare. I’m happy. However; when you enter your kids into a daycare you’re also entering a small building full of germs. The first few months I received calls about more sicknesses than they’ve ever had their whole lives. If they are sick I have to get them from daycare. Even if they don’t attend you’re still paying for it.  

Now if the prices and sickness aren’t  enough. The other children you have your kids go there with are worse. Nothing is more humiliating when your kid is the biter and your kid gets an incident report that is suppose to be anonymous if they bite another child. So when I hear Ash bit some kid I feel in the safe zone until that child and their parent come out and the child announces that my son is the one who bit him.

Kill me.

I apologize. I make my son say he's sorry and of course he refuses. Instead he kicks the kid and spits on him. Now, my son didn't do those things until he started daycare. He picks up habits from all the other  kids he goes to daycare with. Not to defend him, but he really wasn't like that before he started daycare. Kids pick up terrible things from other kids.  My daughter also had experienced some "mean girls" in her pre school class. These little girls will not play with her unless she has a baby doll. Well my daughter isn't a baby doll kind of girl. Well I buy her one so she feels included. Next day, the little girls aren't playing with baby dolls anymore. My daughter is devastated. I talk to the teacher. She says she will keep an eye on the girls she plays with. I pick up my daughter and she's in tears. These little girls said she couldn't play with them because she has a baby doll and they don't. I've never wanted to kick a four year old little girl so hard in my life. I address the director. She puts a statement out saying no kids can bring baby dolls or any outside toys. A couple weeks go by and my daughter seems happy. They have a little party in their class and there is a limited selection on what you can buy. GMO Free allergy free, peanut free, milk free, fuckin everything ever free. So we buy grapes. Fuckin grapes for a party. Well this little girl who has been bullying my child brings in cupcakes that meet the requirements of the daycare. Like who the fuck has time for that shit? Probably a mom who still puts matching socks on her kid. This little girl says that my daughter can't play with her because she brought grapes. I'm boiling because this little girl says this right in front of me. So I just tell my daughter that grapes are just fine. I really want to stick my tongue out at this four year old little girl, but I move along.  

Now that I’m married sometimes I think of the benefits of just staying home to save money in daycare expenses. My husband could work and I could be a domestic engineer. I could take them to all the free activities that are offered locally. I could Pinterest a bunch of educational activities. I could really do it. I could be the Mom I long to be. I’ve done the stay at home Mom thing. It’s hard and I just can’t do it. I have to work. I have to have something else to do and I need a sense of worth. I have to be contributing to my kids financially. I would just feel bad about putting all the finances on my husband. That does not mean that stay at home moms should feel this way. If you’re able to stay at home and love it then good for you. It just isn’t for me. 

Every mom is different. Our decisions are situational. Nobody should feel guilty for their own situation. Whether their kids are in daycare or get to stay with family or you are able to stay at home. We are all trying to do the best we can for our kids.