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Birthday Parties Mom.0

I have to plan four of these a year.

Four! 

I remember my birthday parties as a kid and they were nothing special. Just a couple friends from school and some family members. I don’t remember games. I don’t remember fancy decorations. I don’t remember a theme other than what ever was on the cake. I don’t remember food dressed up as The Cat and The Hat. I just remember a cake my mom would make with some sprinkles or my favorite Disney character if she was feeling expensive that year. I remember finger foods. Some chips. And presents that I was more than happy with. Now, birthday parties are a completely different thing. I blame Pinterest for making moms turn into birthday party fanatics.

I LOVE Pinterest. 

I also love looking at Pinterest fails. I could post a few but anyway... 

You can search any kind of theme and find decorations, cakes, cupcakes, games, and anything elaborate to make your young child’s birthday look like a fuckin festival.

I am guilty of wanting every single birthday party to be spectacular. 

It all started with my first son’s first birthday. Arsyn’s first birthday was such a big deal. My son was one! I made it through one year of motherhood.

Good for me.

I decided to make it music themed. I looked up a how to make a guitar cake... It turned out ok.. ish. It didn’t look like the picture, but it certainly wasn’t a fail. We decided to grill out at a park. I rented the park. We bought all the food. And I decided to buy all the themed decorations.

Total I probably spent $500 on my one year old’s birthday party. 

I sent out cute invitations that I made myself with his footprint and all his milestones. I was so proud of myself. 

Then it was party day. We had a great turn out. Lots of people came. People commenting on how good of a job I did. And then...

My son fell asleep 

because he was one.

He slept through all the festivities and when it was time for him to blow his candle out and open presents he was not excited about it at all.

 I was way more excited with his gifts than he was. I spent the next year attending every birthday party I was invited to because I figured if I went they would return the favor. Right? Let’s fast forward a few years. Invitations have turned into Facebook Event invites. I still do a theme for my kids. I still try to do shit on Pinterest and I put all this effort into a birthday party that only a few people show up to. I don’t let it bother me... that much. But I have a rule. You don’t come to my shit. I’m not coming to yours. I know how much effort and stress it takes for a birthday party. I know every mom wants the best for their kids. I know that she’s got a board on Pinterest of her ideal child’s birthday. I know she’s been more excited for it than her kid. 

If she wants to invite me and my hellions then we are going to go. Nothing makes me more mad than inviting someone that I have went to birthday party after birthday party and they don’t show up to any of mine. Hello, I have four kids I’m half your party. Come to at least one. Especially when I’m hauling four kids to yours. I’m not asking for every single one. That would cost you a small fortune if you’re buying gifts. 

Which are never asked for. 

Your presence is better than presents. Showing up lets me know you give a shit. Also, don’t say you’re coming and not show. I literally plan for a couple weeks ahead of time for food and such. I even had a mom tell me she was bringing her kids who have food allergies and I made special accommodations and they didn’t fuckin show. 

No alert. 

No message.

Just didn’t come. Now, I’m not being a total asshole to people who just don’t do birthdays. Just don’t expect someone to show up to your kids birthdays when you aren’t doing the same. Someone has literally told me they would never come to a birthday party because we just aren’t that close of friends but I could come to her kids birthdays... why would I do that? I’m all for stressing myself out coming to a birthday party if this person is a dear friend. Even if they don’t make it to my kids, but I am not going to haul four kids to a birthday for someone who is just trying to nail some presents they don’t have to buy. Girl bye. This goes for Baby showers and baby sprinkles. I had a baby shower for my first son and a sprinkle for my second and that was it. I didn’t expect anyone to come to a sprinkle for my youngest because I already had two boys. And I’m not against people having multiple baby showers. I am just not going to attend it if it’s someone I don’t talk to and they invite me over Facebook to fulfill their baby registry for the 10th time. However, if this is a person  I talk to and genuinely  tries to come to a birthday party or two I will come to whatever you want. So birthday party rules: Don’t stress to impress. Stress for your kids. Always attend people’s birthday parties if they attend yours Your presence is better than presents  

It’s pretty simple Mom rules. 

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