Is IDGAF an Illness?

Yep I have a kid with ADHD, one with ODD, and they all have IDGAF. You know the illness that kids have when they’re eating a granola bar and bam trash on the ground even though you know they know better. They know trash goes in the trash can, but apparently the world is their trash can. You tell them a million times to go brush their teeth before bed and they come to you with stinky breathe for a goodnight kiss. I don’t get it. I know I’m not the only one. I know I’m not the only one who has repeatedly told their child to stop taking the couch cushions off the couch and stop making forts with them. I know I’m not the only one who has said stop yelling when the baby is asleep and their voices get louder and louder. I know I’m not the only who says eat your food a million times at dinner. Right?! So this all started when my oldest son was having trouble focusing at school and yeah I get it. School is boring. But him not focusing was negatively effecting his grades and him not focusing was aggravating me at home. “Arsyn go gets trash bag.” 20 minutes later... No trash bag.... with a crayon in his hand! Oh ok? Screw the trash bag. So, we all decided to have him evaluated. Now let’s talk about the evaluation process. I initiated the process months before he was diagnosed. You have to complete surveys then have the teacher fill out a survey. My survey was finished in a week or so. The teacher took a month and she was the one mainly complaining of him not focusing. So after I threatened to contact the principal I finally got a call from the scheduling department. The first initial appointment is like a parent interview. The doctor was amazing, but the questions were hard. “When Arsyn was an infant did he... “ “Uh I don’t know” or “I don’t remember” Good job mom in forgetting your first baby’s infant years. Two weeks later, my son seen the doctor on his own. Then two weeks later we had a diagnosis. ADHD. His doctor went over things we could do in the home and what could be done at school to help him with staying focused. Seemed easy enough. Except... it’s not because I have four other kids. I want to do everything possible for my son to help him, but then I have the other ones as well who make being consistent so difficult. I regularly feel like pulling my own hair out. A lot of things I can associate and blame with ADHD, such as getting distracted when asking to do a task or day dreaming when I’m talking to him. But there is a huge difference in ADHD and not caring. Such as throwing trash on the floor, getting out of the shower and tracking water around the house instead of drying off in the shower, and my most favorite IDGAF moment, throwing the clothes on the floor next to the basket instead of in the basket! WHY?! As a parent you want to do things that benefit everyone in the long run. You try different strategies. Different reward systems. Different disciplines. But with any kid it doesn’t always change the behaviors. I can tell my kids a thousand times a day “don’t eat in the living room” and I still will find my daughter sneaking snacks in her bedroom. Hiding under her blanket because she knows she’s wrong. But she sometimes can get away with it because I’m distracted with another kid. They all try to do what they can to get away with things because they’re kids. But where is the point where you just snap and go Military Mom on their asses? Realistically, I can’t. I can’t drill my kids because I will drive myself insane. I have too much going on to get on them for every little thing they do even if their behaviors are annoying. I just can’t. Sometimes I just let them be kids. And that’s always a problem because if you let them get away with something one time they’ll do it again. It confuses them. I have days where I am just too overwhelmed, my kids could color all over the walls and I just could care less. As long as they aren’t killing each other. I just let things happen sometimes because I know I will just scream and yell and freak out on my children. Who is that going to benefit? Nobody.

I wish this blog entry had some sort of solution for everyone’s problems... but it doesn’t. Moms can’t win sometimes. And this is one of those times.